Angels

People say that 'Time will heal'. When it comes to losing a loved one, it's pretty hard to say. Some say that it takes a while to reconcile the matter, some say that nothing will ever be the same (in drab ways). Ever since Mummy's passing, I knew the path in my life would change along with the rest of the family. Made me develop a conscience of being afraid of losing another immediate family member. Probably that's what made me care about my priorities even more. I finally realized that Life wasn't considered 'Black and White' but just Grey.

I was glad in ways that I never took things for granted and somehow knew that it's best to cherish something/someone important before they go. Therefore, regret is the worst thing to live with. I used to remember the times when I used to have a 1 to 1 talks with my Mum (even she had sessions with my Sister) alot within the 2 months before her passing, I know that I didn't manifest for the worst but I knew a possibility that she wouldn't make it any longer. That concern triggered the intention of being with her even more. During her passing, I knew myself that I didn't have the right to break down and cry because I needed to feel strong for my Father and Sister. The vivid memory of the 3 minutes of moaning and crying outside the hospital made myself feel like I was 'Dead', I felt that Mum wanted all of us to be the stronghold of each other.

As time went by especially in these 2 years, it gets tougher but at the same time, it's as if the immunity grew, but the remaining scars are still there. I don't think I need religion to teach me that we all have to go someday because it's already an existing fact. I guess I was born to live life and not born to die after life itself. What mum would want is for the family to be good people and live a good life. This isn't an Anniversary of how my Mum left, it's an Anniversary of how my Mum lived life.This is dedicated to you, Mummy.



Nine Inch Nails-Angels

I've tried to take this all just one step at a time,
I'd love to reason but I'll end this waver signed.
'Cause it's so lonely I feel like I have died
I thought angels never learned to say goodbye

Angel

I've felt emotions like I've never felt before
Felt such devotion that it's spilt upon the floor
Now I'm so empty there's nothing left to hide
I thought angels never learned to say goodbye

I've got to find you, and remind you how it is
My life's been shattered but inside I've found love exists
Now I'm so frightened, Im so afraid to die
I thought angels never learned to say goodbye.
Bye bye,
Bye bye.

Angel, Angel.
Now I'm so lonely, I'm so afraid to die.
'Cause I know that all the angels say goodbye
Angel
Angel
Bye bye, Angel.
Bye bye.